Homeless

In February 2012 after 15 years living and working in Japan I returned to New Zealand. It wasn't a glorious homecoming unfortunately as I was locked out of the apartment I was living in. I returned to Japan from holiday in New Zealand to find that the guy I was flatting with had changed the locks and had basically made me homeless. I had paid the rent, admittedly I had paid it late and had decided that I was returning to New Zealand and I had basically come back to Japan to pack up my belongings and move back home.

Because I couldn't get back into the apartment, this was a Tuesday afternoon I decided to leave all my belongings in the room and fly back to New Zealand on the Thursday afternoon. I had mixed feelings about this because I was leaving some stuff there that I wanted, I also had stuff that I didn't want, I also had stuff that I wanted but would have been a fool to bring it back and I had stuff that would have proved difficult to get rid of in a short period of time. So in a way he did me a favour and left himself with a bigger problem than I had. I also felt angry towards him for locking me out but also anger towards myself for letting it get to that stage. My communication had become nonexistent with him and I had run away from confrontation when in fact I should have run towards it and maybe it would have been uncomfortable for a shorter time than what I had made it.

What did I learn from this stage in my life?

1. As I said before I have to learn that I can't avoid problems as they won't run away. If I don't acknowledge them they will fester and grow bigger and that is when the real problems start and being kicked out of your apartment is certainly nothing to be proud about.

2. You have to really think about what you are doing. You can't have that typical Kiwi attitude of "she'll be right" and think that if you keep on doing something that something else will happen. What is that saying? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and think that you will get a different result.

3. You have got to keep communications open to all (unless they really piss you off then that's OK to drop them off your cell phone number list) I shut off my cell phone, deliberately didn't read emails all so that I wouldn't have to confront the person and the problem.

4. You have to keep on top of your finances. You need to get enough money every month to pay the bills. If this doesn't happen then your life becomes very stressful and everything turns to custard.

5. Learn to say no even if it is something that you really want. Those opportunities can come again if you have the courage to say no the first time and to work harder to make better opportunities.

6. I also learned that you should be productive in your spare time. Watching TV, surfing the net, maybe fun and they do have a place in your lifestyle but it shouldn't be the whole of your lifestyle. Doing things like writing this blog have helped me to think about things and this time will only beneficial in the future.

7. Work hard and play hard, it is Ok if you play hard only if you have put in an honest day's work. If you haven't you should stay until you have accomplished something.

8. Be upfront with people. This is difficult for me but is essential for me to move on in life.

9. Love of family is unconditional. My parents although very concerned about my well being and almost angry about my continued lackluster performance in my chosen career had always supported me and had helped me out of jam on many occasions and I hope that this is the last time.

10. You have many mates but only few friends and my friends and you know who you are, if I ever stuff up it doesn't change their friendship towards me. This is really comforting to know when you are going through a stressful time they are still going to be there with their support and wisecracks.

I'm sure over the coming months I will come across more lessons from this saga in my life. If I can practice what I have just preached then life will become more fulfilling.